Why I refuse to trail run

Every year, when the spring thaw comes, pretty much everyone I know heads out on the trails.  Not me.  "Just try it, you might like it!" they plead.  Nope nope nope.  These are the reasons why I will stick to the roads.

Mud and general messiness

I joke about fearing shoulder deep mud and water crossings wrecking my outfits, but seriously, mud washes off.  This is the least of my concerns.

Mosquitoes

Not only do I seem to get bitten far more than the average person, I have a very bad reaction to bites.  I have gotten bitten on my hands while wearing a jacket and long pants, inside a restaurant, and inside my car.  While wearing copious amounts of Muskol. The swelling that follows a bite can only be relieved by prescription strength antihistamines.

I like my ankles

I have broken my right ankle (fell down on grass while playing tag when I was 7) and sprained both ankles multiple times.  Every time I have injured my ankles, it's taken longer and longer to heal.  I fear the next time I fall down, it will be the Big One that puts me out of commission for months.  I've faceplanted on an unseen acorn or something while on the practically paved Chedoke Radial trail.  I can't imagine what a klutz like me would do when confronted with something more technical.

Bronte Creek Provincial Park: This is as trail-like as I get.

Occasionally, I do feel the urge to get closer to nature and I'll run in Bronte Creek or on the Red Hill trail. But I keep my eyes on the ground at all times, wear a lot of bug spray and I'm always relieved when I complete the run unscathed.  Or I'm super annoyed when I find new welts on my person and have to spend the next few days doped up on drugs.

I hope these are valid enough reasons to appease my trail-loving friends who can't seem to understand why I stick to the roads.  It's not about being open to trying new things.  It's because I can't.